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The Dark expression of SEX


Human beings are not just one-dimensional Beings. We are multi-dimensional and have many different aspects within us. Although the feminine has a lot more actual aspects or different selves, if you will- within her, and the masculine is more of a clear focus, one point of attraction type consciousness of self, we all have many aspects of our subconscious mind and especially our sexuality that needs to be acknowledged, expressed, and explored. The question is how we explore them. With what power and intention, with what tools, and for what purpose are we exploring the darkness.

In this article, when I use the word 'dark' I am not referring to the shadow side: the unhealed unconscious ego side of us. not the ‘bad’ side (there is no good or bad and I do not want us to be polarized, but I am referring to the polarity of divine sexual flow. I'm referring to a different way to express sexual flow in a deeper form of our dark side. When we become fully aware and conscious and mature in our sexual power and freedom, we also find Freedom and wisdom in exploring all shades of our sexuality.

We do so not from the wounded inner boy or a girl place. Not from a reactive or subconscious space that needs to be healed or seen or held. We are exploring these shades of our sexuality from a place of love, fullness & wholeness. With our maturity and awareness. And again, of course, with the absolute intention for sacred Union.

Working WITH our dark side is vital because we are not just beings of fluffy light and love. Those who believe that they are only light, and love are fooling themselves and also suppressing most of who they are. Our shadows will always be a part of us. We cannot delete them but unite with them and transmute them.

It is the integration of our wounded shadow, along with our mature, conscious, loving heart connection as well as the commitment to our sacred union and partner, that can make any dark sexual experience heavenly and empower us into our divinity.

People can go into either extreme when it comes to expressing and exploring their dark energy because of their past traumas or fears.

They can either go deep into expressing their deepest Shadow sexuality, or they can avoid it altogether at any cost.

To create a Sacred Union, we don't just need to ' make love', softly and gently, or whisper beautiful loving words into each other's ears. We can create sacred Union through hard fuck or even the practice of choking. We can touch source and express God & Goddess through us when we scream in the pleasurable agony of being spanked or when we pull our partner's hair and bite their neck till it leaves the mark of your loving claim.

In a Divine sacred union relationship, there is full freedom to express all the different emotions and aspects within us that are arising at any moment. There is absolute understanding, and any partner holds the other partner's expression at any given moment.

Can you imagine this absolute freedom to be who you are and to be loved as who you are in the moment? I don't know about you, but for me- This is Pure ecstasy.

As a woman, to be held by the masculine when I express my inner animal or the girl that needs to cry and express her emotions. To feel the full presence of the masculine when I cry, ache, or laugh hysterically with silliness. To be ravished fully when I am in my power or when I feel sadness or a moment of lack of confidence.


As women, it is easier to connect to our dark side (not the shadow destructive side), by connecting with the energy of Kali. She's a great representation and an example of our pure dark feminine aspect.

(You can watch the kali video I made on my YouTube channel also, called:

The Dark Goddess❤️‍🔥 The Black sun- embracing our KALI energy.)

This healthy dark side (which has an equivalent for the masculine God expression as well of course), is one that can help us not just in actual flow but in life itself. We can use it when we need to ' shake things up. When we need to destroy what exists and create a new path for New Life. When we need to move energy and to call upon a higher level of us to be embodied.

When we want to fully connect sexually and awaken each other's powers and deepest desires and create a new life or a new sexual flow within our Union. When we need the strength to set stronger, clearer boundaries.

As long as we express this dark side with the fullness of love and awareness, it will be soul expending. I invite you to explore and give freedom to this aspect of you and your partner.

When it comes to Sexual Energy, the feminine is always the strongest because she is the leader of the sexual flow and the transmuter of Sexual Energy. This is also true when it comes to the dark sexual energy life force.

Just as the feminine is stronger in her divine sexuality, she is just as strong in her dark sexuality.

The dark (baneful, ‘bad’) masculine has been subduing the feminine sexually in a physical and psychological way for longer than history books can tell, but the feminine has the power to subdue the masculine in any other way, which is a lot more dangerous and destructive. This is the same strength and power that the dark masculine has feared since the beginning of time- the same reason why it HAS been subduing the feminine in the first place. But this is also the same power, the divine feminine sexual life force - that is going to set us all free as humanity.

When we are practicing dark Sexual Energy with pure conscious intention, it feels like pure Freedom. It feels open and relaxed in the body. It feels safe and whole.

Each partner can express their love and devotion constantly through their bodies and breath. In our remaining open to the other's experience, both partners become very attuned and sensitive to the other's body.

In a sacred union, when exploring even the darkest of sexual energy, the constant desire that leads both Partners is the desire to connect and to see into the other.

The masculine partner is in absolute open heart and presence to the feminine partner's reactions and openness to his penetration (physical or energetic), and The Feminine partner is fully open, trusting, and surrendered to the penetrating force of the masculine partner (again this penetration does not have to happen physically. It can happen energetically as well).

When a masculine person works with his dark side, he can be more focused and grounded on his purpose, the feminine can, in fact, be more in a state of love and fullness in her everyday life. The masculine needs a clear, powerful purpose in life in order to be in his divine masculine and the purpose of the feminine is to be love itself.

But when we are practicing dark energy from our shadow, unhealed ego, it will always leave us depleted, and it will feel constricted in the body and the Heart. There is usually going to be a disconnect from the partner in our own heart (even though when you are in this state and experience you can't even feel the disconnect from the heart). And there is a fear underlining the experience that is leading the experience itself. A feeling of 'something is not quite right here'. A feeling that perhaps one or two of the partners cannot even put into words.

The constant desire that leads both Partners, in this case, is the desire to fulfill their own emptiness. To take whatever they can from this experience. To fill the void of the ego.

They are acting primarily from their shadow aspect and therefore they cannot be fully present in the moment as who they really are. These are not two conscious people communicating with each other sexually, but two ego masks that are trying to manipulate the other through Sexual Energy!!

When two partners explore this dark sexuality, they CANNOT afford to be unaware or un-present for even one second. For example: When you are exploring the art of choking you can kill your partner, cause physical or emotional damage or even trigger trauma if you are not fully present to their experience and their body. You literally have to become one with their breath in order to know how and when to release the flow of air from their throat.

(if you are not- that's abuse and the kind of behavior that actually causes sexual trauma in humans.)

When you are pulling your partner's hair you must be extremely attentive to their facial expression and their breathing to know what their limit. When pleasure ends and pain begins. And you must also be very sensitive to know WHAT are the boundaries of pain that your partner can hold and wants to hold. What is welcomed and what is not desired at all. If you are not present to their experience, your partner will not be able to be trusting and open again sexually when you explore similar acts.

One way you can begin to explore your dark side today is by getting to know and observe, with full awareness- your fantasies. You can do this alone or with your partner or even a friend, as a conversation.

Allow your darkest fantasies to appear themselves to you and have an open mind and heart talk to receive them with no judgment or shame.

This is your own experience with yourself so allow yourself full freedom to explore.

I speak about sexual fantasies in my book 'Sex Magic Evolution-, and I also have the video on it on my YouTube channel, but I would like to briefly mention how we can work with these fantasies:

This is a practice that comes from Carl Jung's work. Teal Swan also mentions this work when she speaks about dream interpretation.

We work with our sexual fantasies just the way we work with our dreams.

Dreams and fantasies are both symbolic communication from the subconscious mind and therefore we must communicate back the way we would with the subconscious mind.

One who understands magic understands the subconscious because that's where all reality actually comes from. This is where magic gets its power from. Where all manifestation gets its power from.

So, I would like you to write down your whole fantasy from beginning to end, including all details possible. And now you would write down the entire fantasy again, but this time from a perspective of something or someone within the fantasy. You will do this again and again- write down the entire fantasy from the perspective of everyONE and everyTHING within the fantasy. This will allow you to interpret many of the symbols within your fantasy and understand them on a deeper level. You will become a master of your subconscious mind and know how to work with your dark Sexual Energy a lot better once you understand your subconscious realm.


Mastering our dark sexual power with love can be a true gift as women.

When we allow this force to be embodied through us, in a conscious healthy way, we can truly awaken and connect to the masculine in new exciting powerful ways. Sometimes the masculine will be more reactive and fearful to our motherly soft love because of his own wounds from the feminine. So our dark sexual power, when expressed with love, is something he needs to feel: the fires of our dark goddess in order to awaken and connect again to his Divine masculine heart.

This is where our seductress and demoness can come in and take hold of the situation in the sexual flow between you and your partner. The love is there of course, for you are a constant embodiment of that love that you are as the divine feminine- that never changes. But the expressions of how that love comes through your body, can and should change inside of you as a sex Priestess, as you are in constant sensitivity to the moment itself. you are feeling into your masculine partner and what he needs and more importantly- what your union needs in every given moment.



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